What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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