What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
