Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
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i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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