Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
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Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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