I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
