There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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