i love accidental penises.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
