hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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