And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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