His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
