why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
