Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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