now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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