i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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