I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
