This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I am spending my child support on dildos
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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