she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
