grandma shit on top of the toilet
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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