sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
