awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
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he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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