That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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