If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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