I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
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