if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
