Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
