Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
we're so committed to being not committed
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
