this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I would ride that face into the sunset
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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