I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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