I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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