we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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