He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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