my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize