I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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