Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
