I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
