guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
