So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
should my penis look like a turkey
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
