we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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