You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
