I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
