i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
