dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
