she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
