Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
If that was your dad, he is hot
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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