Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
