I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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