He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
