plz talk dirty to me
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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