Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You are the jesus of drinking
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
