I think I am morally bankrupt
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Everclear isn't food dammit
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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