i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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