can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
