So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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