I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My nipple is on Facebook.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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