she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
