Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
