shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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