someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
